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Dating Lately

September 3, 2010 in Journal Entry by Cheshire Splat | No comments

Or lack thereof I should probably say. I’m kinda wishing right now that I’d set myself up a hot date or two for the weekend, but no, the only hot date I have is with my house. There’s more work to be done.

It’s been sort of a weird time lately. Like seriously everyone I know seems to be coupled up right now, except for myself. Of course there’s my friends in long term relationships and the ones who are engaged, but I mean even those folks I know who are almost hopelessly single are coupled up. So like now, I’m that guy. I’m the hopelessly single guy. What the fuck? How did I end up picked last in gym class?

Truth is, it’s been kind of rough lately. I made sort of a concious decision to take a break from dating when I underwent the home buying process. I knew I was just gonna be too busy and too stressed. And I was right. The last thing I want to do is a) bore a lady to death with tales from Home Depot, and b) be too tired to pay her any attention. It’s only a couple months, I knew I’d live.

But then there’s been the family drama (which I still would like to post about–maybe later today). Going through a family crisis is not really a fun thing for the single person. It’s times like those when more than anything it would be good to have someone there for you to help keep it together. But it’s probably the worst time in the world to meet someone new.

Like imagine that first date… the scene is set, the music is low, the wine is flowing. “So,” she asks, “how was your week?”

“Well, one of my closest family members snapped, and we had to put her up in a hospital. I spent 12 hours in an emergency room and saw and heard things that I will never forget. Uh… how about you?”

Yeah. It’s not a pretty picture.

But that’s all cooling down. The parents have stepped in, and the family crisis torch has been passed from me to them. I guess I have permission to start living my life again?

So we’ll have to see about that. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who’s a fellow INFJ, and apparently singledom is just a thing for us. We were high fiving each other about it, actually. I guess we’d prefer to call it “stridently independant” as opposed to single. I think I’d also say that we’re stubborn and idealistic. So we stay single, and then when we do fall for someone, we fall pretty hard. It can be a bad scene.

But I think this fall is going to be pretty good. I’m feeling optimistic, and I want to chase that feeling.  Hell, maybe this weekend will be good.  After all, summer ain’t over yet.

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Decisions

August 29, 2010 in Journal Entry by Cheshire Splat | 4 comments

Wow, this was not a good week.  Some good things happened this week, but some really bad things also happened.   I actually would like to write about the really bad thing, but I’m still trying to get my head around it.  A close family member of mine had an extreme crisis, and I was right there in the middle of it.  I’m not really sure how well I’m dealing with it.  I mean last night, I went and made one of the stupidest decisions I’ve made in some time, and while no one got hurt or anything and in the end it’s just gonna cost me some repair money, I’m still bugging out about it.  I like to be on top of things.

It’s a strange thing, though:  decisions.  How is it that when you’re in the middle of a very, very serious family emergency you can make all the right decisions and basically save the day, yet when you’re faced with a very ordinary crisis you can make a stupid decision that turns a small problem into a much larger problem?  I don’t know.  Sometimes I really feel gypped about life not coming with an instruction manual, is all I can say.

In either case, I’m expecting things to settle down soon enough.  I’ll be done working on the house for now, and I’ll have a new roommate soon enough.  There are whole aspects of my life that I’ve completely neglected this summer:  cooking, dating, exercising, socializing.  You name it.

In the meantime, I offer you this piece of advice:  do not ever break into your own house unless you absolutely have to.  Wait, let me repeat it:  do not ever break into your own house unless you absolutely have to.

‘Cause you know what’s gonna happen?  The cops are gonna show up.  And there will be a mess.  A sharp dangerous mess.  A well-intentioned friend might convince you that breaking a pane of glass is cheaper than a locksmith, and that may even be true, but in your exhausted, burnt out from a week of intense drama, state, you must resist such well intentioned advice.  Just pay the god damned locksmith.

Oh, Summer

August 15, 2010 in Journal Entry by Cheshire Splat | No comments

Oh, summer!  It seems you just arrived, and now you’re almost gone.  I guess it must always be this way.

I’ve had some family drama crop up, and that’s kept me from my internet endeavors.  Forgive me.  Well, unless you’re Twitter.  In which case, indulge me.  For someone who used to hate on Twitter, I’ve really come around.  But I’ve been kind of ignoring my blog here and some other things.  Anyway…

Yeah, so things are evening out.  I spent most of today in true Sunday fashion.  Grabbing brunch and chilling out with some friends on the deck all afternoon.  I did get some painting done.  I’m redoing the downstairs bathroom, and I’m pleased that the color I chose looks great.  I picked up new hardware too, so over the next week I’ll be replacing all of that.  I think I might need to get one of those laser levels if I want to get my towel racks mounted even remotely even.  Or at the least, one of those ordinary old fashioned levels.

The other thing I’ve been working on is burgers.  Hoping to have some folks over soon for a housewarming, and there two things that you get when I am your host:  mini-burgers and margaritas.  I haven’t made margaritas all summer.  Jesus, that just goes to show how I’ve let the social life slip while I work on this place.

To that end, I bring you Peppadew seasoning!  Saw this in Wegmans the other day.  I’ve known Peppadew peppers for a little while, but had no idea that they’d branched out.  The sweet and piquant peppadews add an amazing dimension to a seasoned salt mix.  And it goes great on burgers!  Check it out.


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Hidden Reserves

July 30, 2010 in Journal Entry by Cheshire Splat | No comments

I’ve been searching for energy lately. It’s been rough. Buying this house and working on it and the transitions at work–I’m finally appreciating just how burnt out I was getting. So the past few weeks I’ve just been pretty wiped out. If you’ve run into me, then probably that’s been pretty apparent.

But things are calming down. As I type this the asshole contractor who I’ve been fighting with is replacing the shit tile job he did in my bathrooms. This is a relief. My third bedroom is ready to go, and I may now begin the hunt for Roommate #2. This is also a relief.

I take a measure of pride in myself whenever I pull through a tough stretch, and this will count as one. It’s not epic or legendary, but it has yielded some very tangible results.

As I cool off and prepare to resume a more normal routine, there’s something I’ve been thinking about: vigor.

I miss the vigor of my younger days. I mean, one of my friends at work has been emailing me this morning talking about how crazy her week has been: staying up late, getting up early, always busy and basically running on fumes. I miss that. Well I miss some of that. I don’t really need to go back to my “4 happy hours a week plus 2-3 dance clubs on the weekend” days. But I do miss the energy that propelled me through it.

When I hit a rough patch like lately… man, it just makes me feel like an old man sometimes. I guess this is life past 30.

But I hate feeling worn out like that, so my big goal for the next couple weeks is to just be more energetic. Maybe a few tweaks to my routine. Maybe some more time in the gym or some healthier eating. Maybe just being a little more social.

And maybe that sounds a little cheesy. But sometimes this is the best thing that life can offer you: a big cheesy goal.

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Hiding Out

July 24, 2010 in Home Ownership by Cheshire Splat | No comments

I’m hiding out from the heat in my office today. It may be roasting outside this weekend, but in here it’s wonderfully cool.

I’m hoping to make it a productive weekend, actually. My tentative plans all sort of unraveled before they came together, so I resolved to have a weekend of staying in and getting things done (and not spending anything!). I’ve got things at the house close to at what I suppose you might call a good stopping point. It’ll be nice to relax and pursue some hobbies as opposed to housework every night.

The next thing will be getting a second roommate. I’m a tad apprehensive about this. Despite having had plenty of roommates, I’ve always lived with someone I’ve known. Sometimes it’s worked out better than others, but in each case there was a familiarity and, well, trust there already. I’m going to be bringing in someone who at this point is a complete mystery. I mean, it could go so many different ways.

What I’m hoping is that I’ll be able to be pretty picky and find someone who’s going to be a good personality and lifestyle fit. I can afford to wait (although I’d really rather not–this rent will be financing some forthcoming weekend adventures). Right now I have myself convinced that the perfect roommate would be a liberal arts type grad student–someone with good taste, quiet habits, and, most importantly, a busy school schedule. But who knows. Maybe I’ll find some young professional gamer geek who I’ll click with immediately.

Or maybe I’ll end up renting to some psycho. I guess we’ll see how this goes.  Wish me luck.

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Painters

July 19, 2010 in Home Ownership, Journal Entry by Cheshire Splat | 3 comments

Do you know what I don’t understand? Why don’t painters have bodies like athletes?

I got back to painting this weekend, and all I’ve got to say is holy shit, man, what a workout. Through the move and all the painting and everything, I’ve actually gotten toned up a bit. This is great, since I haven’t had time for the gym. Today I actually threw on a polo shirt that the last time I tried to wear it was a little tight in the middle. Not today. Pushing that roller up and down for hours at a time. It’s an upper body workout that’s hard to get on any fitness machine. My chest and arms feel great for days after painting a room.

But what about people who paint houses for a living? You’d think that such people would have the bodies of swimmers or something. Hours and hours spent breaking in that body. You’d think that desperate housewives would have painters on call instead of pool boys.

In either case, the progress on the house continues. I’m hoping that after this week I can ease off and take it easy, most of my immediate projects being completed. I think the next big thing will be painting and re-hardware-ing the bathrooms. That and upgrading some security items.

I think there still might be some summer left for me to enjoy once this is wrapped up. Which is good because I’ve been out of touch with like everybody lately. And let’s not even talk about the last time I did something as leisurely as read a novel.  Buying and working on a house mostly by yourself is some pretty time consuming shit–especially if you’re as dogged as I am about making it not just livable but enjoyable.  But then again, I have more than occasionally been accused of having a one track mind.

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My Morning

July 13, 2010 in Uncategorized by Cheshire Splat | 4 comments

It started with me climbing out onto my roof to nail a piece of siding back into place.  Not exactly how I prefer to start the day, but sort of exhilarating in a way.  Probably, I would have rather gone jogging.  Or slept more.

My home is inching closer and closer to equilibrium.  And thus I am starting to destress.  A little.

I successfully pressured a contractor into coming back and redoing my tile floors.  The kitchen is done.  The bathrooms get done this weekend.  As satisfying as it is to have a new, correctly installed kitchen floor, I hate arguing with people.  The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve strived towards a live and let live approach.  So having to fight with people puts a pall of negativity about me.  I hate it.

But all in all I think I’m liking this home ownership thing.  It’s too bad I couldn’t have made it happen sooner, but ah well.  There’s something deeply satisfying about being in a place that I make better by the day.  There are few things that can calm the mind as powerfully as a collection of small successes.

This morning I repaired my siding and saved myself from having to pay someone to do it.  Possibly a couple hundred bucks.  Win.

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The Cheeses and Steaks of Philadelphia

July 7, 2010 in Let's Talk about Food by Cheshire Splat | 1 comment

Ah, Philly. I did miss you. It’s been awhile. But I found that not too much has changed. Your downtown is still pleasantly walkable. You still have more punk rockers per capita than homeless people. And you still exalt in your steaks and your cheeses.

I managed to swing by Pat’s at lunch hour. Most of the folks that I know love to rant about how much better Pat’s is than Geno’s, although I have to be honest the difference has never seemed that stark to me. What I do love about Pat’s is the non-assuming David it plays to Geno’s Goliath. Geno’s has all kinds of crazy bullshit going on around. It might as well be a night club. Pat’s, though, it’s just a sub shop. Which is all I want it to be.

It’s gotten me thinking, though.  The cheese steak I had was fine, but as I was eating it I couldn’t help but wonder, “what’s the fuss about?”  I’ve had this moment a number of times while ordering cheese steaks in Philly.  I mean, look at the sub.  Most of those ingredients are canned.  And I can’t honestly say much love went into it.  The meat is cooked in a giant pile and slapped onto each sandwich somewhat unceremoniously turn by turn.  It tastes good.  But does it taste amazing?

Not really.  And it had me wondering about famous hometown foods.  How many famous hometown foods are exceeded by leaps and bounds by their hype?  For Baltimore, this is sort of a hard one.  We have crab cakes, and crab cakes aren’t exactly fast food fare.  If you’re getting one, it’s almost definitely not cheap.  And the quality usually starts at okay.  You have to travel out of the region to get a bad crap cake.

But how do other cities stack up?  I’ve never had Buffalo wings in Buffalo.  Nor deep dish pizza in Chicago.  I’ve had good wings around here, though.  And good deep dish too.

So where is the best place to get a cheese steak in Philly?  Everyone you ask will tell you something different, but I wonder about those folks who swear by places like Pat’s and Geno’s.  Give me some fresh peppers and fresh mushrooms before you tell me something’s gonna blow my mind.  But to Pat’s credit, it is loved by the locals.  Maybe there’s just something there I can’t taste.

Yesterday I threw some steak on the griddle and veggies on the stove and made my own cheese steaks.  These were just kinda dashed together, and I didn’t get fancy with the ingredients.  I mean I didn’t even chop any garlic up, that’s how dressed down these were.  And they were still amazing.  Sizzlin steak and fresh veggies all the way.

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Fourth of July Weekend

July 6, 2010 in Journal Entry by Cheshire Splat | 2 comments

I guess it was a good weekend overall.  I caught up with old high school buddies.  I ran off to Philly for the night.  I saw the best fireworks show that I’ve ever seen in Baltimore.  I worked on the house a bit.

I also might be suing somebody soon.  And that was part of the bad part of the weekend.  I’ll be talking to some people about that this week.  I need advice.  Good advice.  I’m lucky enough to have some good people to talk to about this.

Also, I probably can’t say anything more about that.  Maybe I’ll have to delete that.  Anyway…

Louis CK started a new show this week, and you should all check it out.  Here’s a clip.  Louis is one of those comedians who will throw something at you that is poignant, effed up, and above all uncomfortable.  And he’ll make you laugh at it.  Here he takes on the “F” word.

Dating Site Shenanigans

June 29, 2010 in Journal Entry by Cheshire Splat | No comments

How many of you, dear internet folks, have dipped your toes into that sorted menagerie of online dating?

I don’t remember off the top of my head (and don’t feel like reading back through my site to see), but I think I’ve mentioned on here that I’ve tried my hand it. It’s okay. A number of my friends have given it a go, and we’ve traded some entertaining stories about it.

Lately I haven’t even been using any of them (I’ve been too preoccupied with the house to take any nice young ladies out), but I have logged onto one or two where I have a profile still active. I guess just out of boredom. Or maybe I’m a creeper. Whatever.

So anyway, I got this email from one of the sites today. I won’t copy and paste it, but the site admins told me that I’ve been “selected” by their super high tech “selecting computer” as an attractive individual. Now this wasn’t a veiled offer for an account upgrade. It was telling me that their algorithms had determined that I am more attractive than average and that if I log into the site, my search results will now be filtered so that more attractive females will show up at the top of my search results.

I call bullshit.

I actually logged onto the site and took a peek, and it didn’t seem any different than normal. It was the same general mix of attractiveness that one always sees.

I think they’re performing an experiment. Seriously. Think about it. You run a dating site. It’s a website and matching service, so all you can really do is try to give it the smoothest interface and the most sophisticated matching technology. Once you achieve that, the rest is left up to the users. I mean, people still need to contact each other, and they still need to negotiate those social interactions on their own.

So how do you increase site use? Pay out some compliments.

Now, we’re Americans, we’re leery of advertising. We have a nose for platitudes (well, unless you’re a Sarah Palin supporter–then, apparently, you’re addicted to platitudes, but I digress…). So you have to make the compliment specific. Tell the user, for example, that your scientific algorithmic algorithmnator determined that the user is more attractive than average and that they’ll be nudged towards other more attractive users. The user gets a little more confident. Some of the ladies start looking a little cuter. More emails and winks are sent out, and presumably more dates are set.

I think that this is genius. Here are some of the encouraging, ego-fluffing emails that I’d send out to my dear dating site users if I were the admin of such a site.

Email 1

Dear Sir Winksalot,

We are pleased to inform you that you are one of our dating site’s most reliable winkers and emailers! Our scientific computer algorithm interface generator has determined that you send out more winks and emails to more people than almost anyone. The computer has assessed your dedication to meeting absolutely anyone possible, how carefully you have copied and pasted your form emails, and how quickly you are able to declare your infinite virtues as well as your desire for a commitment that is true, noble, and above all hasty. We also love your poetry!

Hang in there, Sir Winksalot. We’ve now tailored your search to respond to your sociopathic, phishing-like online behavior with the best results imaginable. Mrs Right is just a click away!

Email 2

Dear Duchess of Duck,

We love your duckface! And so do our users! Our advanced computer indexing search engine optimizerator (SEOerator) has determined that more users click on your dozen or so duckface pictures than most other pictures. Not so many users post pictures of themselves with so many people, always guzzling vodka and redbulls, and always making your indelible trademark face.

Take heart, Duches of Duck, we’ve optimized your search results to pair you with more fellas locked in permanent duck face than before. Your chance to start dancing bill to bill is just a click away!

Email 3

Dear ICLondonICFrance,

We sure do love your underpants! And so do the rest of our members! Our advanced holistic search optimization forum has determined that the click through rate on your underpants pics are through the roof. We like to think that the shirtless men showing off their abs and the top down bathroom mirror boob shot women of our dating site are what make it a sizzlin’ place to meet new singles. And we’d like to thank you by upgrading your status.

ICLondonICFrance, your searches just got even better. We’ve now filtered your content to bring you exclusive access to the most underpants-only singles the web has to offer. Your chance to woo the underpants off the person of your dreams is just a click away!

This is fun. My dating website is gonna be the best on the net!

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